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This also works if you’re in a more established relationship.Let’s say you don’t see your boyfriend as often as you’d like.
If I don’t hear from him by X day at Y time, then I am allowed to be upset about this,” and then just take it out of your mind.
So you enter into the relationship as your best self and then one of two things happens: it works out, or it doesn’t.
And if it doesn’t, you’re OK because you know that it just means you weren’t a match with that person.
If he doesn’t propose in the next month, then I will be upset and I will deal with it.
Until then, I’m going to enjoy the relationship and not let this bother me.
Like it will somehow lead us to a place of confidence and clarity. It will lead you in the opposite direction, rather, and cause you to feel even more uncertain and insecure.
QUIZ: Are You Accidentally Sabotaging Your Relationship? See a relationship for what it is Let’s talk about what a relationship is and isn’t. A relationship isn’t a measure of your worth or worthiness in this world.
Anyone who has dated long enough knows exactly what I’m talking about.
The problem is our minds trick us into believing there is some sort of payoff to this type of thinking.
For example, let’s say you start seeing a new guy and things are going great. You feel a sense of dread deep in your gut and you know, you just know, that he’s never coming back.
You talk regularly, go on fun dates, it seems to be going really well. Meanwhile, in boy land, he’s been really slammed at work and has barely had a minute to come up for air.
Or let’s say you’re in a serious relationship and there has been talk of getting engaged but he hasn’t popped the question yet.